Future

I seem to have lost all my motivation lately.
It happens to me from time to time- the air simply goes out and I do not feel fit to do anything...I t has happened again.
Of course it's the wrong time, the worst possible in fact - the clock is ticking, time is running out. A month from now my TTC days will be over (not the exams though). I really need to focus now if I plan to complete everything on time. But despite all that (or perhaps, because of it), I feel like it's not worth the effort.It's all too much too soon and I'm not ready to finish this chapter of my book of life yet. I'm not ready to move on, I don't want to, I won't manage, I'm scared...
Life is a real beach(!) at the moment but it will become even more so in a few months.
I hate the fact that I don’t know what will happen with me them, I hate this uncertainty, I hate to feel so insecure. What if I fail my exams? What if I pass but just? And even If I do well, what should I do next. My reason says I should go straight for Master's programme. But I can't stand the thought of getting stuck here for another 2 years.
I want to go places, I want to feel alive again, I want to curl up on my bed and read something I want to read. I want to swim in the sea, I want to climb a mountain, I don't want to study methodology. I want to teach new, interesting people. I want to get to know them, I want to become a part of their lives, I want to make a difference...I want to sleep, I want to dance, I want to fly somewhere I've never been before...
I,I,I..., too much I here... selfish, selfish creature...